( Ja'far's quiet for a long beat, staring at Sinbad, and then to the side. )
...My needs are irrelevant, at least in regards to this. I am by your side, that's all I've really wanted. ( He looks back up at Sinbad, focusing on him, staring him down in turn. )
You can't put my needs ahead of everyone else's, Sin. Not Sindria, not our companions, not anyone. Not even you. What we've built, what we continue to build, is what is important. Not whether or not I get to share your bed. ( At least, outside of this place. )
I can be with you here, and in a way that makes me happy. I can strengthen you by being by your side, by sharing myself with you more. It's... this place, I would not trade Sindria for it, not ever, but if that is balm I can have here, then I will take it. I love you, Sin, but I cannot place that above what we have worked our entire lives for.
And this is why you are a fool. [ The words are a bit harsh, perhaps, but they're still said with utter fondness as Sinbad leans in, catches Ja'far's lips with his own in a deep, biting kiss for a long moment. ]
Your needs are never irrelevant, Ja'far. I can understand you not wanting to put them above the others, or Sindria's, but that makes yours no less important to me. I'll not argue the importance of all we've done, but are you so certain their needs couldn't have still been met and yours as well? That perhaps they might even be better for it?
[ He kisses him again, hand sliding to cup at the nape of Ja'far's neck and holding him close. ] I want you, Ja'far. I love you. And I have ever been stronger - and better - for having you at my side - wherever that may be.
( He wants to argue, to push more how much this wouldn't work back home, how it'd just ruin things, but. Those kisses, oh, they steal his breath away. That touch, something he's not necessarily longed for, but has wanted, has now needed, melts him a little, cools the determination. Sinbad always had a way of pushing things, and this was no exception.
He sighs softly, leaning his forehead against Sinbad's. )
You're too idealistic sometimes, Sin. I can't say you're right, neither of us know, we can't know here, but...
( He kisses him, softly, something gentle and very, very fond. ) Gods, I love you, too.
Yes, and that's what makes this entirely frustrating. ( He huffs, but it's more playful, less heavy.
Though, he startles at that last thing, face turning back to red. )Sin- Yes. Aspen now, too. I... He's very wonderful, and I feel very comfortable and safe around him. It's hard not to.
It is hard not to. [ He agrees to this with an unrepentant grin, smoothing his fingers through Ja'far's soft hair. ] And I'm glad for it. I think he will be good for you. And you, for him.
And for us? I assume if you love him, too, this is all quite alright, then.
( He's a little huffy about it, since Sinbad hasn't given him a straight answer, but honestly, he's very happy. Sinbad loves him, still loves him, and he has newfound feelings for Aspen that are shared. It's overwhelming, but still good. Still so very good. )
[ Sinbad chuckles and taps a finger lightly against the tip of Ja'far's nose. ]
I suspected you might be falling for him, honestly. And I'm glad for it. I think it will be good for both of us, yes. We have... we have a lot of history, Ja'far. And I think Aspen has been able to help us both understand our own feelings a little better, not to mention deepened those we have for him. It's only fitting, isn't it, that he's a part of this?
( Ja'far mulls it over for a moment, thoughtful. They really did have so much history, it was hard to see where things had even begun at this point. But, Aspen had helped, hadn't he? He'd let Ja'far think more clearly about his feelings, especially here. Aspen had been a catalyst for a lot of this.
[ That... actually makes him pause for a moment, surprise flickering in his gaze.
But he doesn't know what to say to that - has too many things to say to that. So instead, for the moment, he just leans down and kisses him again, deeper this time. Pouring everything he feels into the kiss instead of trying to find the words to express it, knowing they will still fall short. ]
[ The kiss draws out for several long moments until Sinbad finally pulls back for air, letting his forehead rest against Ja'far's as he meets his gaze. One hand slides to cup against his cheek, a corner of his lips tugging upwards. ]
You worry too much. [ It's said fondly as he leans in to kiss him again. ] So. Are you going to tell Aspen about this talk? Or should we call him over and do it together?
( Gosh, so many kisses! Melting Ja'far's defenses, and he knows it. ) We should probably talk to him together about it. It's about the three of us now, after all.
We should. Is that what you'd like to do? [ Sinbad gives him an easy smile, content with that result. Although he's not sure how Aspen will react to it. ]
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...My needs are irrelevant, at least in regards to this. I am by your side, that's all I've really wanted. ( He looks back up at Sinbad, focusing on him, staring him down in turn. )
You can't put my needs ahead of everyone else's, Sin. Not Sindria, not our companions, not anyone. Not even you. What we've built, what we continue to build, is what is important. Not whether or not I get to share your bed. ( At least, outside of this place. )
I can be with you here, and in a way that makes me happy. I can strengthen you by being by your side, by sharing myself with you more. It's... this place, I would not trade Sindria for it, not ever, but if that is balm I can have here, then I will take it. I love you, Sin, but I cannot place that above what we have worked our entire lives for.
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Your needs are never irrelevant, Ja'far. I can understand you not wanting to put them above the others, or Sindria's, but that makes yours no less important to me. I'll not argue the importance of all we've done, but are you so certain their needs couldn't have still been met and yours as well? That perhaps they might even be better for it?
[ He kisses him again, hand sliding to cup at the nape of Ja'far's neck and holding him close. ] I want you, Ja'far. I love you. And I have ever been stronger - and better - for having you at my side - wherever that may be.
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He sighs softly, leaning his forehead against Sinbad's. )
You're too idealistic sometimes, Sin. I can't say you're right, neither of us know, we can't know here, but...
( He kisses him, softly, something gentle and very, very fond. ) Gods, I love you, too.
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[ Sinbad, idealistically, points out with a crooked smile as he stays propped against him, meeting his gaze. ]
And also Aspen now, hmm?
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Though, he startles at that last thing, face turning back to red. ) Sin- Yes. Aspen now, too. I... He's very wonderful, and I feel very comfortable and safe around him. It's hard not to.
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( He's a little huffy about it, since Sinbad hasn't given him a straight answer, but honestly, he's very happy. Sinbad loves him, still loves him, and he has newfound feelings for Aspen that are shared. It's overwhelming, but still good. Still so very good. )
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I suspected you might be falling for him, honestly. And I'm glad for it. I think it will be good for both of us, yes. We have... we have a lot of history, Ja'far. And I think Aspen has been able to help us both understand our own feelings a little better, not to mention deepened those we have for him. It's only fitting, isn't it, that he's a part of this?
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Finally, he smiles a little, nodding. ) Yes.
And really? Was I that obvious?
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Perhaps I'm just really good at reading you after all this time?
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You certainly didn't read how in love I am with you.
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I've always loved you.
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But he doesn't know what to say to that - has too many things to say to that. So instead, for the moment, he just leans down and kisses him again, deeper this time. Pouring everything he feels into the kiss instead of trying to find the words to express it, knowing they will still fall short. ]
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Sinbad loves him, too. Very much. More than he hoped for.
It makes him suck in a breath through his nose, leaning into the kiss, returning those feelings as well. )
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I don't deserve you.
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You don't, but I am yours. Forever.
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Thank you. I feel much better about all of this, now. I am glad our love can include more.
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But, yes, this does ease my mind some.
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