[ He makes a quiet growl of frustration at that, releasing Ja'far and partially turning away, running fingers through his dark hair as he paces away a few steps in agitation. ]

Who was I, if not myself? Becoming so consumed with an ideal, so obsessed that the consequences or risks no longer mattered? If I thought the outcome was one of necessity, Ja'far...

[ He cuts himself off with a low curse, leveling Ja'far with a look. ]

There are places you should never follow me, Ja'far, depths that apparently even I am capable of sinking to. If this is what I become... I'm not worthy of your loyalty. I don't deserve to be believed in. This... this just proves I can be as monstrous as all those I sought to displace.