[His familiar is so easily bribed. Why is this his life.
But Jun sighs and there's a moment where he's collecting his thoughts before he speaks again, tone very businesslike and detached.]
Other than the fact that, out of everyone in our little circle, I am the newest one? Two reasons. The first is I am the one who no one knows much about, though I will admit that is my choice and not because no one has tried. The flash and extravagance is a distraction, and one I've had nearly eighteen years to perfect. It's remarkably easy to change the topic of conversation without anyone realizing that's what I've done and why I've done it, especially for a high-ranking member of the Zhentarim like me.
[If Sinbad asks, he'll explain who the Zhentarim are.]
People have called me cold since my first few customers in Bryn Shander, since I never talk about myself. I'll talk about my family as long as you'll let me, but myself? [He snorts.] I'm a terrible topic of conversation, Sinbad. There are much better kitsune to talk about than an old fox saved by an archfey to save the Summer Court as their pet warlock. I adore my patron and could not have asked for a kinder archfey to be sworn to, but I know what I am to her: a political tool, albeit one with a destiny that benefits everyone. And I know what this means for the people I am close to. It means danger, Sinbad. My son was nearly lost to me because the Winter Court decided to try and take his soul. His mother will likely be lost to us because she made a deal with the Winter Court and broke it. My traveling companions--one of whom is a seventeen year old boy and the other someone I consider a friend--were put at risk because of their proximity to me and were only saved because I asked Bloom for a favor that she was wonderful enough to grant.
[Another pause. He needed to drink.]
The second reason is I am not a good person, Sinbad. I try to be kind, and I try to be considerate, but the goals of the Zhentarim are to make the entire Moonsea and beyond dependent on us. To that aim, I have helped ruin families. I have helped rig elections. Information I have gathered or passed on has likely been used to orchestrate assassinations, though I couldn't say for certain. And I joined them because I was bored, because being a courtesan could only entertain me so much and this gave me something else to do with my time. And I brought my sister into the organization and I've invited my son and I have no intentions on leaving the Network, because that would be boring.
[Another, slightly longer pause to let Sinbad process all of that.]
The reason I am not part of your little number, Sinbad, is because I do not deserve to be. I know this. Nobody wants an old fox running around, mucking up their happiness and putting them at risk. Even if the Winter Court can't reach us here, the fact that I have white hair now proves that fey magic does cross the planar boundary. All it would take is a warlock in their service to arrive in the city and everyone near me would be at risk.
[A shaky breath, and the businesslike tone slips ever so slightly.]
And Aspen deserves better than an archfey's pet who threw himself in with the Zhentarim not because he believed in their goals but because he was bored, who fell in love with the first customer he ever took to bed and put her at risk by not taking the precautions he should have, even if it did result in my wonderful son. He has you and Ja'far. He doesn't need me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-04-20 09:17 pm (UTC)But Jun sighs and there's a moment where he's collecting his thoughts before he speaks again, tone very businesslike and detached.]
Other than the fact that, out of everyone in our little circle, I am the newest one? Two reasons. The first is I am the one who no one knows much about, though I will admit that is my choice and not because no one has tried. The flash and extravagance is a distraction, and one I've had nearly eighteen years to perfect. It's remarkably easy to change the topic of conversation without anyone realizing that's what I've done and why I've done it, especially for a high-ranking member of the Zhentarim like me.
[If Sinbad asks, he'll explain who the Zhentarim are.]
People have called me cold since my first few customers in Bryn Shander, since I never talk about myself. I'll talk about my family as long as you'll let me, but myself? [He snorts.] I'm a terrible topic of conversation, Sinbad. There are much better kitsune to talk about than an old fox saved by an archfey to save the Summer Court as their pet warlock. I adore my patron and could not have asked for a kinder archfey to be sworn to, but I know what I am to her: a political tool, albeit one with a destiny that benefits everyone. And I know what this means for the people I am close to. It means danger, Sinbad. My son was nearly lost to me because the Winter Court decided to try and take his soul. His mother will likely be lost to us because she made a deal with the Winter Court and broke it. My traveling companions--one of whom is a seventeen year old boy and the other someone I consider a friend--were put at risk because of their proximity to me and were only saved because I asked Bloom for a favor that she was wonderful enough to grant.
[Another pause. He needed to drink.]
The second reason is I am not a good person, Sinbad. I try to be kind, and I try to be considerate, but the goals of the Zhentarim are to make the entire Moonsea and beyond dependent on us. To that aim, I have helped ruin families. I have helped rig elections. Information I have gathered or passed on has likely been used to orchestrate assassinations, though I couldn't say for certain. And I joined them because I was bored, because being a courtesan could only entertain me so much and this gave me something else to do with my time. And I brought my sister into the organization and I've invited my son and I have no intentions on leaving the Network, because that would be boring.
[Another, slightly longer pause to let Sinbad process all of that.]
The reason I am not part of your little number, Sinbad, is because I do not deserve to be. I know this. Nobody wants an old fox running around, mucking up their happiness and putting them at risk. Even if the Winter Court can't reach us here, the fact that I have white hair now proves that fey magic does cross the planar boundary. All it would take is a warlock in their service to arrive in the city and everyone near me would be at risk.
[A shaky breath, and the businesslike tone slips ever so slightly.]
And Aspen deserves better than an archfey's pet who threw himself in with the Zhentarim not because he believed in their goals but because he was bored, who fell in love with the first customer he ever took to bed and put her at risk by not taking the precautions he should have, even if it did result in my wonderful son. He has you and Ja'far. He doesn't need me.